Happy Brain Day, Everybody. (A day late. I’m sorry. It’s the best I could do.)
On January 30, eight years ago, my baby was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Every year since then, we’ve celebrated that date in our house like a little holiday, being thankful for our lives, each other, and of course, for our miraculous brains.
This is our first Brain Day without Cammy. I really don’t feel like celebrating.
The last two days, my heart has been trying to break again. He’s been gone for nine months, and I thought I was doing better, getting used to my new life without him, but today it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like this year is going to be rough.
On Brain Days gone by, we’d make hemispherectomy brain cupcakes and a healthy brain-food dinner. Sometimes we’d sing a dumb song (along the lines of “Happy Brain Day to you!”) or dress up. This year, Brady did her job in Chicago, baking cupcakes and sharing them with her cat, room mates, and boyfriend. For my part, I found some pink frosting and scribbled some brains on a few store-bought cookies and brownies, and Kris and I cried and hugged.
Then, me, Kris, Carson, and one of his buddies watched stupid reality shows on television. It was nice. We were relaxing together, eating our brain cookies, laughing and NOT using our brains. My therapist would say it was a distraction, that maybe we should have talked about Cameron, shared memories, dressed up in brain hats, and looked at photos of happier days. Well, I just couldn’t do it yesterday. Maybe I’ll do that today.
Happy Brain Day, Everybody. Hug your babies.